well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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