Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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