I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize