My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
