? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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