She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize