I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
