if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize