I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
