Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
