OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
