So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
