she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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