:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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