just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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