Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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