if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
