ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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