I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
