Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
