Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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