just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
