Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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