I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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