we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
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Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize