Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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