my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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