im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
