if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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