i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
farters have to be the big spoon...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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