He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
