I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
