There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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