She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize