I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
