If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
