it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
