PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
