Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I checked into jail on foursquare
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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