It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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