so let's talk penis.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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