cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment