so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...