Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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