WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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