And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Never underestimate the power of titties
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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