I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
FUCK WHALES
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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