I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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