i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
