It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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