I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
