yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.