Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't deserve a penis
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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