can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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