Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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