I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
