she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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