oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize