i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
