I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
