No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
