So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize