I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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