just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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