Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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