He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You made out with two different species that night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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