What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize