I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
