There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
