Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
